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Best Collection of New English Funny SMS at Funny SMS

A collection of english funny sms text messages, jokes and humorous text messages. To send to amuse and please your friends with these great funny mobile english funny sms. You can also submit english funny sms here.

Latest English Funny SMS:

  • DNA Test
    Dad: What’s ur Result?

    Son: I’ve failed in 5 subjects.

    Dad: From now Onwards Don’t Call Me “DAD”.

    Son: Oh Come On Dad!
    Its my School Test Not a DNA Test.. :-D

  By: Asad   Send To Mobile
  • I do not even know that woman
    A couple walking in the park
    noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench,
    passionately kissing..

    Wife: "Why don't you do that ?"
    Husband: "Honey,
    I don't even know that woman." :-D


  By: Husnain Nawaz   Send To Mobile
  • Adjust The Situation
    A Husband working in UK wrote to his wife in India.

    "Dear Sunita Darling,
    I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.
    You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.
    Your loving husband"
    His wife replied
    Thanks for the 100 kisses.
    Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses
    1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.

    2. The electricity man, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.

    3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.

    4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only,
    so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.

    5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.
    Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and
    I hope I can survive the month using this balance.
    Shall I plan the same for the next month?
    Only Your Sweet Heart :-)

  By: Naghma Khan   Send To Mobile
  • After Surgery
    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was
    severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin
    from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate
    some of his own skin.
    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would
    have to come from his buttocks.
    The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin
    came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all,
    this was a very delicate matter.
    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new
    beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends
    and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at
    his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you
    did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
    "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your
    mother kiss you on the cheek." ;-) :-D


  By: Sumaira Malik   Send To Mobile
  • Suggestion
    There are three Engineers in a car:
    "An electrical engineer, A chemical
    engineer and a Microsoft engineer."
    Suddenly the car just stops
    by the side of the road, and
    the three engineers
    look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
    The electrical engineer suggests
    stripping down the electronics of the car and
    trying to trace where a fault
    might have occurred.
    The chemical engineer,
    not knowing much about cars,
    suggests that maybe the
    fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
    Then, the Microsoft engineer,
    not knowing much about anything,
    comes up with a suggestion,
    "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open
    the windows again, and maybe it'll work ?" :-D


  By: Naghma Khan   Send To Mobile
  • To Avoid
    If you want to Avoid so Many Friend Requests..
    Kindly Upload Your Original Photos without Makeup.. :-D

    Thank U.. ?;-)

  By: Haya Ali   Send To Mobile

    Boy To Father.. 00:00:30

    Boy To Mother.. 00:00:50

    Boy To Boy.. 00:00:59

    Boy To Girl.. 01:28:59

    Girl To Girl.. 04:39:47

    Girl To Boy.. Missed Call

    Husband To Wife.. 00:00:08

    Wife To Husband.. Missed Calls 16
    ;-) :-D


  By: Husnain Nawaz   Send To Mobile
  • End of Her Story
    Difference Among Girls Aged..
    8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 & 78

    8 - U take her to bed and tell her a story.

    18 - U tell her a story, take her to bed.

    28 - U don't hv to tell her a story to take her to bed.

    38 - She tells u a story, takes u to bed.

    48 - U tell her a story to avoid going to bed.

    58 - U stay in bed to avoid her story.

    68 - If u take her to bed, that will be a story

    78 - If u take her to bed, That's the end of her story..? ;-)


  By: Maha Abro   Send To Mobile
  • Half-dead
    Husband went to abroad for 15 days.

    Wife: Darling its 15 days now.
    When will u come back,
    I am Half-dead.

    Husband: "Half-dead"!
    Ok then I will come after 15 days.. :-D


  By: Naila Soomro   Send To Mobile

    One Twenty First Century Kid to Another:

    "I am never having Kids.
    I hear they take Nine Months to Download." ;-) :-D


  By: Haya Ali   Send To Mobile
English Funny SMS By Page: << 123456 7891011 >>

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