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Best Collection of New English Funny SMS at Funny SMS

A collection of english funny sms text messages, jokes and humorous text messages. To send to amuse and please your friends with these great funny mobile english funny sms. You can also submit english funny sms here.

Latest English Funny SMS:

  • What Is Wife
    If Husband Is The Head Of The Family,

    Then What Is Wife??
    .
    .
    Wife Is The Neck Of The Family

    Which Can Turn The Head Anywhere. :-D

    Hahahha


  By: Sumaira Malik   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • Mere Liye Rishtay
    Larki: Mere Liye Rishtay Aarahy Hen,
    Kuch Kero..

    Santa: Haan Janu, Kal Se
    "Dusri" Hi Dhoond Raha Hun.. :-) :-D

    Hahhaha


  By: Haya Ali   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • A Male and A Female
    A woman gives birth to a baby
    and afterward the doctor comes
    into the room and says:
    "I have something to tell you about your child.."
    .
    The woman slowly sits up with a worried look on her face and says: "What's Wrong with it?"
    .
    The doctor says:
    "There's nothing really wrong with it, it's just a little
    different! It's a hermaphrodite."
    .
    The woman looks confused:
    "A hermaphrodite, what's that?"
    .
    The doctor replies:
    "It has both features of A Male and A Female."
    .
    The Woman looks relieved:
    "What? You mean it has A Penis AND A Brain?" :-p :-D

    Hhahaha


  By: Sumaira Malik   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • Logical Thinker
    A Man In Night Club..
    Bartender: Who Are You? I’ve never seen you before.
    Man: Yeah! I just lost my job and came here for a drink.
    Bartender: What kind of Job?
    Man: Well. I am a Consultant.
    Bartender: Whats that?
    Man: Its a logical thinker.
    Bartender: Logical Think, what?
    Man: Let me explain it with an Example.
    Do you have a dog?
    Bartender: Yes!
    Man: That means you love animals.
    Bartender: True!
    Man: That mean you love your kids too.
    Bartender: Yes True!
    Man: You have Kids, that means you are Married.
    Bartender: Very True!
    Man: You love your Kids. You are still married,
    means you have a beautiful Wife.
    Bartender: Amazing man! How do you know all these?
    Man: Thats logical thinking now you are married
    to a lady, so you are not Gay!
    Bartender: Impressive!
    Man: Time to leave. Bye!
    .
    (About 20 mins, later the Bartender’s Boss Comes)
    .
    Bartender: Boss, you know I met a Consultant today.
    Boss: Consultant!! Whats that??
    Bartender: A logical thinker.
    Boss: Logical what??
    Bartender: I’ll explain it with an Example.
    Boss: Okay!
    Bartender: Do you have a DOG.?
    Boss: No!
    .
    Bartender: That means you are Gay!
    .
    BOSS DIED.. :-) :-D


  By: Naghma Khan   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • Kuch Din
    Boy: Hello, What's ur name?
    She: Hi..I'm "Palak"
    .
    He: Nnice name.
    She: Thank you..
    .
    Aur Phir kuchh Dino baad Me Boy Anr she
    mile, GF-BF bane,Shadi ki aur hasi-
    khusi zindgi Jine lage.
    .
    Kahani khtm
    .
    Moral :- agar "Palak-Panir" wala
    Bhutiyapa na karo to block bhi nahi
    hote aur ladki bhi patt jati hai. ;-)

    Hahahaha


  By: Naila Soomro   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • SUSU law
    Newton's SUSU law:

    No Matter how much U
    Press it,
    Shake it,
    Rotate it,
    Slap it,
    Strangle it,
    And Pull it..

    The Last Drop of Urine will
    Always Fall in Your Underwear. ;-)

    Hahhahaha


  By: Husnain Nawaz   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • DNA Test
    Dad: What’s ur Result?

    Son: I’ve failed in 5 subjects.

    Dad: From now Onwards Don’t Call Me “DAD”.

    Son: Oh Come On Dad!
    Its my School Test Not a DNA Test.. :-D


  By: Asad   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • I do not even know that woman
    A couple walking in the park
    noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench,
    passionately kissing..

    Wife: "Why don't you do that ?"
    .
    Husband: "Honey,
    I don't even know that woman." :-D

    Hahhaha


  By: Husnain Nawaz   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • Adjust The Situation
    A Husband working in UK wrote to his wife in India.

    "Dear Sunita Darling,
    I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.
    You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.
    Your loving husband"
    .
    His wife replied
    TINKU KE PAPPA,
    Thanks for the 100 kisses.
    Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses
    1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.

    2. The electricity man, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.

    3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.

    4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only,
    so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.

    5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.
    Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and
    I hope I can survive the month using this balance.
    Shall I plan the same for the next month?
    Only Your Sweet Heart :-)


  By: Naghma Khan   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
  • After Surgery
    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was
    severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin
    from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate
    some of his own skin.
    .
    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would
    have to come from his buttocks.
    .
    The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin
    came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all,
    this was a very delicate matter.
    .
    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new
    beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends
    and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
    .
    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at
    his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you
    did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
    .
    "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your
    mother kiss you on the cheek." ;-) :-D

    Hahhaha


  By: Sumaira Malik   In: English Funny SMS  Send To Mobile
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